Rule 11 - Omit Unnecessary Words

[rgiaquinta]

Omit unnecessary words.

For more information and examples, see Rule 11 at http://www.junketstudies.com/rulesofw/

[BOBDEMAY]

Good morning,

I have someone who removes the word "the" every time he does a peer review and he has been unable to explain why he does so.  Is "The" considered to be an unnecessary word?

For example, I wrote;
The system consists of four basic components: the proprietary fax database, fax images, the fax server services and the Graphical User Interfaces (GUIs). 

He changed it to;
The system consists of four basic components: Proprietary Fax Database, Fax Images, Fax Server Services, and Graphical User Interfaces (GUIs). 

Except for the capitalization, won't both of these work?


Thank you,
Bob

[mtee42]

My opinion:  Your way is not "wrong" but I do believe the change is at least a minor improvement, in that the items constitute a list consisting of 4 elements, and the list is easier to follow in the format into which it was put.  I notice that elimination of "the" was not the only change;  he also capitalized the elements.  This does make it a bit easier for the reader to follow (that is, the line "scans" better).  It is as if the sentence has been moved closer to a true list format:

The system consists of four basic components:

     1) Proprietary Fax Database;
     2) Fax Images;
     3) Fax Server Services; and
     4) Graphical User Interfaces (GUIs).

I suspect your reviewer tends (as do I) to categorize things extensively in his thinking, and his writing reflects that analytical approach.  Different people, different preferences.